God is Good...

Since my last post on 2/3/2013, a great deal has gone on...  a change

1st - A.C.T.S. Retreat
                 .... Yup!  I'm speechless!  God has been so good to me throughout my years but on this retreat, I felt him present.  It was the best feeling in the world and something that can never be taken from me.  Let me begin by telling you how I almost let this wonderful opportunity pass.  During the week of the 4th, my good friend sent me a text asking if I was still interested in attending the retreat because I had not submitted my application.  I said yes but did not have time to submit my paperwork and would like to know if I am able to attend.  She then sent a text that said yes.  In my mind, I was procrastinating and really... did not want to go.  I thought well, she's gone through all this trouble I will submit the paper work but how am I going to get the money to them as I am soooo busy that I will not have time to drop off the deposit.  My friend is an angel, she sent a text and stated she would give the deposit for me so that I have the chance to go.  All along, God had this in his plan.  I was to attend.  I fought it the whole way, I did not want to go especially knowing that all electronics were to be left at home.  WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! Me without my phone, I live with this thing.  No communication to the outside world, not being able to communicate with my children, husband, and mom.  What if an emergency came up, how would I find out!!!!!!!!   After all that fussing and fighting, I attended.  I was a big mess.  I was crying because my family could not drop me off.  I felt as if I was driving myself to prison and no one to give a hug or a kiss goodbye.  I know, a bit dramatic but that is how I truly felt.  In  the end, I had life changing experience; something that I will never forget.  God had a plan for me every step of the way there.  I was so amazed at how present He was during that weekend.  If it wasn't for His plan and all the beautiful women that put this together I would continue to be lost and broken.  At the end of the weekend, we had a mass at Christ the King.  As a walked in, I saw a familiar face but thought no way, my friends live about 3 1/2 hours away, it surely can't be them.  Well, surprise, surprise... my friend and her hubby from back home (now SIC) was in town and decided to come to the mass to support me.  It was a beautiful surprise and I am so grateful for this great friend that I have known for over 13 years.  You have no idea how much that meant to me my dear friend.  Also, thank you to Christ the King Catholic Church and beautiful women of the ACTS Retreat.  I love all my sisters in Christ (SIC), they are all awesome!  I met so many beautiful women and I came out of there with a deeper love for Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.  One of my goal for this year was to get closer to God.  I am going to continue my new found relationship with my Lord, my God.  By the way, the food was great and the company, even better! 

2nd - I was able to go visit my family and good friends back home.  It is always nice to go back home.  Something about being around mom is always comforting.  I love her so much and appreciate all she does for me and my little family.

3rd - I continue with crossfit.  I have made some gains in my lifts and am pretty proud of myself.  My eating habits haven't changed much but I'm getting better.  As a matter of fact, I had a big slice of cheese cake tonight and it did not sit well.  I made a poor choice but know for next time, just skip the cheese cake.  I also had some wheat bread this morning and it made my tummy make some funny noises...  NOT good! I will make better choices and continue to batch cook so that I am prepared for the week.  I am also going to consult a nutritionist/personal trainer so that I may reach my goal.

Last but not least, I received a sweet gift from one of my SIC yesterday.  It was such a great surprise.  This beautiful gift is a book, Miracle Hour.  It is a powerful book.  Thank you so much Patty for your continued support.  I have Debra, Carmen, Iris, and Marissa to be thankful for on a daily basis for their continued support.  I love you S's IC!

Change is good...
Stayed tuned for some of my adventures :-)

Meltdown

Today is a better day!  Yes today is the superbowl but I am at home where it is free of unhealthy meals that can be associated with this big game day.

Flashback to this past week
This past week has been a struggle.  I'm not sure what is going on with me but I have been in pain in several places of my body.  Some of the pain has been attributed to soreness from the workouts, not a bad pain, nonetheless, pain.  Some of the pain was in my lower abdomen, sore throat, and lower back.  Well, when I am in pain of any sorts I turn to food.  So, guess what I have been doing?  That's right, eating, eating, and eating.  This negative, destructive behavior has caused a downward spiral which led me to my meltdown, yesterday, at the gym.  The workout that was bestowed upon us yesterday, was for time (crossfit), 25 reps of each exercise (about 8) and a 50 yard sprint between exercises.  To some of you, that might not be so bad but it was so hard for me.  When the coach called my time, I said, "I'm not done" he said, "what, did you forget something?"  I started to cry and went down to the ground doing the mountain climbers that were next on the list while thinking, I'm pathetic!  I still had 3 more exercises to go.  When the coach ran up to me, I cried, "I'm not done!"  He said, "it's ok, you can finish this, did you forget something?"  I replied, breathing heavy of course," NO I'm just slow,  I'm so out of shape and heavy!"  He says you are going to get better. At this point, two girls that I started this crossfit journey with ran to me and finished the workout with me (after they had already finished).  The coach and these two wonderful girls were so kind and supportive till the end of the workout.  It is truly a blessing when you can find a gym that is not only close to home but supportive and helpful when needed.

Present
So, today is a great day.  My family and I had a healthy breakfast and went to church.  After church we went to a local meat market and bought some lean steaks to grill for this evening.  I will serve spinach and tomato salad.  I have God to be thankful to for good and bad time.  What doesn't kill me will make me stronger.

I realized that I have gained 10 pounds since October and today is a new start.  I'm going to focus on remaining positive and taking something for pain.  I will also stretch more and use my foam roller.  Until next time!  May God bless you!

Self Discovery

Howdy,

Sorry for not being consistent with blogging.  This is something new for me.  I will try to be better.  Okay, so the new year did not start off very well.  I went through a bit of a slump when my hubby went out of town and now that he is back I am much better.

On a positive note, I started crossfit at Blue Star Crossfit!  I love it!  I was doing something like it before but not to the full extent of crossfit.  One thing about me that needs work (a lot) is getting over fear!  FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real,  so I basically hinder my progress.  Another thing I learned about myself was 1) I don't eat well if I am not working out, 2) I like working out with a group of people.  So this brings me back to the beginning of this year, I was not in a group setting and I was not consistent with my workouts, when I did go to the gym, so I over ate.  I know, pretty pathetic, but I'm learning about myself.

I have now been eating better and have been attending crossfit since Saturday, 1/19/13.  The trainer and crossfitters are GREAT!  In the two classes I have participated I have burned 400 - 600 calories and I am sore!  Now, I just need to keep my eating in check.  I've tried the Paleo way of eating and it is harder than I thought.  I haven't given up on it just yet but would like to get some help.  I don't think I do to well with the fruit, I feel I crave more sugar when I have fruit which leads me to poor eating because I associate the sweet taste of the fruit with bad, not so good for you sweets.  So, I have to cut back on the fruit.  I was thinking of purchasing the book, The 21-Day Sugar Detox, which I think may come in handy but with headaches.  LOL!  I will keep you posted!

For Health

Hello Peeps (don't like the sugar treat that is associated with this name),

So, sometimes I feel like I am misunderstood.  Let me explain...  I started this journey January 2011 right after I got the lab results back from my Doctor.  I was very sad but knew it was my fault and had no one to blame. I was labeled diabetic (A1C - 7.1) with high cholesterol (241).  So the only thing left to do, after I had my moment of self pity, was to buckle down and CHANGE! Yes, that word makes me cringe.  I don't like change, I am a creature of habit and like routine, structure, you get it, the opposite of change.  I managed to lose weight that year with the help of HCG and a great guy who took a chance on my and trained me in exchange for a testimonial.  I knew that after training with him I could workout, eat healthy and look great.  So now after having my labs checked every three months for two years, I have maintained healthy numbers (A1C-6.1 Cholesterol-205). 

Now, you might be thinking, you did change.  You are right, forcefully!  I love my family and feel I would be letting them down if I didn't change.  I have more cheat meals than I should.  I would like to just control my eating and have admirable self-discipline to just say no and walk away.  However, I don't!  So, I am in need of change.  What this means is that I am going to have to research what is best for me and the family as a whole.  I have to start by making a list of the foods that we can eat and go from there.  

As I mentioned on my first post, I started on the 1st of this year with the 48 hour cleanse and it didn't work as well as I had expected.  As a matter of fact, I felt like I was starved.  The 3rd day started off well, with a cup of coffee and some fruit for my morning workout (GISG 12 week workout).  The rest of the day, I ate protein, vegetables, mixed nuts and fruit.  I was a happy camper and did not feel hungry.  The 4th day, started off real well, then it steadily declined as I indulged a little, okay, a lot.  My little family, a family friend and I went out on the town and ate out.  I know, I could have made better choices but fell off the wagon.  So, today was a much better day.  

On another note, my hubby went out of town (work related) and will not be back for a couple of weeks.  So, my challenge to myself is to think, actually think about the foods that are in front of me and decide if it is something I need or something I want, 2nd, make healthy meals for us at home and 3rd work out at least 4 times each week.  I will keep you posted.  

Thanks for reading.  I will be back very soon.  

Hopeful   

Courage

January 1, 2013

Verse of the Day:  The LORD's unfailing love and mercy still continue, fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise. Lamentations 3:22-23

Greetings family, friends, and curious viewers,

I am so excited about my first day to a better me. I will give you a flashback into my life. I have always had a difficult time with my weight. As a child, I was always a big girl, referred to as big bone, pretty face, and my nickname growing up and still is, is "Gordis". I have tried an array of diets that I was successful with but gained my weight back.

Aside from genetics, I have come to terms that it is my eating habits.  I have a love for food but I am also an emotional eater that is addicted to sugar.  Oh, chocolate and sugar together are my drug of choice.  I prefer to eat a dessert over drinking an adult beverage.

This year I plan to pray more, work on making healthy choices, healthy meals and exercise at least four days a week.  Something I'd like to try is the Paleo way of eating.  My hubby bought me a book, The Paleo Diet, for Christmas.  I had mentioned it to him and he surprised me with this book and a couple more books for preparing meals (400 calories) and snacks (100 calories).  Needless to say, my husband is supportive.

I'm ready to take this year on and hopefully conquer some of my goals.  Today I started Dr. Oz's 48 hour cleanse in hopes that I can get rid of some of the forbidden foods that were oh so tasty but not good for me.  Here are some of my goals that I have for this year.  I'm sure that I will add to the list as I blog.

GOALS:
Read the Bible
Lose fat
Gain Lean Muscle
Try Crossfit and stick with it (or an exercise regime of some sort)
Prepare my meals for the week on Sunday
Weigh myself on a weekly basis
Take monthly pictures
Be positive
Stress less

Starting weight: 170.4 (I've gained 7 pounds since Dec. 1st)

Getting the courage to change my eating habits,

Hopeful